I wanted to include a really beautiful, serene, yet kind of turbulent picture to go with this post. My daughter took this in South Africa on the Eastern Cape somewhere.This afternoon was really difficult. I, and two co-workers visited a former co-worker at her home who is dying of cancer. Words cannot explain the emotions that go with how her husband cares for her, she can't walk, she has no brain activity that allows her to talk, her eyes are open, she tries really hard to recognize people and that alone is energy trying for her. Her husband patiently and lovingly gives her water from a toddler 'sippy' cup and sponges her mouth to keep her as comfortable as possible, she can barely swallow the water without choking. To move her in a position to sip water is painful for her. Needless to say, she can't eat and is no longer getting any nourishment.
Her husband was sobbing as he cared for her during our visit, and talked to her lovingly as he cared for her. It was really, really hard to see this....but then again very bittersweet if that makes sense. The wedding vows kept going through my head...."For better or worse, til death do us part ......for better or worse".... This is what they mean!
When I talked to her, she looked at me so hard! Like she really wanted to recognize me, she tried so hard. The entire time I was there, I had to keep looking at the photos on the ledge behind her. Photos of her and her husband at their wedding years ago, they were so young and beautiful and then again at their daughters wedding.....that's how I will always remember Sharon, as I saw her in her in her happy pictures. She loved her family, especially her little grandchildren.
Sharon was a very stubborn woman, never wanted help from anyone. Maybe not so much stubborn as she was strong because she was always the caregiver, the nurturer, the mom, the wife.
Now, she's in her last days..lingering and taking deep breaths with every sip of water. That's all she can do, with her husband and sister beside her.
4 comments:
This brings back memories of my younger sister who died of cancer last November 25, 2007. I wstched her suffering all alone in silence, the ones closest to her were in denial about her serious condition. It's hard to lose someone who wanted to live so bad, she would cry and tell me "I don't want to die."
Coleen, I read the obituary on your friend, Sharon Peterson. I thought this was "our" Sharon Peterson who died. I was feeling so sad, because our Sharon was the Secretary for the Indian Education Program at the Bemidji High School when I was working there. This is so sad, are you going to her funeral? Ma
I thought the same thing about the Sharon gram, it's still sad tho. I went to school with her daughter Missy. nona
I didn't make it to her funeral. I decided to leave my last memories of her at my last visit when she was alive and when I worked with her. It was really sad what happened to her.
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